10 Red Flags in Therapists you should look out for
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Finding a therapist is very much like dating. You have to kiss a few frogs before you meet the right one. Finding the right therapist for you is a process, a process that you may want to give up on before you’ve even started or you may end up settling for the first therapist you find.
When I started my psychotherapy training, we were required to find our own psychotherapists so that 1. we could have the experience of what it’s like to be in therapy and 2. to process our trauma and anxieties. Being under a deadline to find a therapist, meant that I ended up settling for the first therapist I found. I spent four years with my previous therapist and I did learn a lot about myself during the process, however, during my final year of therapy, I found myself feeling unheard and frustrated. Due to the pandemic, like most clinicians, telehealth became my new norm. I found telephone therapy to be difficult because I did not have a confidential space where I could express myself, which led to my sessions being cut short. With my sessions being cut short and having to pay full price, I found myself feeling angry - which I could not express to my therapist. This led me to bring my sessions to a close.
It’s important to feel a sense of connection with your therapist including a sense of trust.
Finding the right therapist for you is important, so here are a few red flags to look out for.
They don’t have the expertise or skill to support you
They are judgemental or critical of your choices, feelings, and/or actions
They end your sessions early
They don’t listen or respond
They don’t acknowledge your racial experiences
They miss, cancel or show up late your sessions frequently
They seem bored or uninterested
They overshare information about themselves
Avoid life coaches that appear to pose as ‘psychotherapists/counsellors’
They have romantic or sexual relations with their clients
This is by no means an exhaustive list, these are simply a few examples of what to look out for in a therapist regarding red flags. Therapists have a duty of care and unfortunately, not all therapist are that great at providing a good duty of care. Most therapists have their own therapist to process their own traumas with, if they don’t this is potentially another red flag.