The 4 types of Attachment Styles

When it comes to relationships, platonic or romantic, having an understanding of your attachment style can be beneficial. It can help you understand any underlying emotional needs that you may need to work on.

Attachment styles are emotional bonds that are typically formed in early childhood. These attachments style are stable, however changeable, meaning that they can change over time as you enter different relationships. It was originally coined and developed by John Bowlby and further developed by other figures like Mary Ainsworth - she did an interesting experiment.

I first took an interest into attachment styles when I was at college, studying a psychological perspectives on a Health & Social Care course. I was also dating/in an odd short-lived romantic relationship at the time, which lead to me explore my attachment style.

How your adults in your life responded to your childhood needs, would have had an impact on your behaviour in relationships.

So what are the four types of attachment styles?

SECURE

Secure attachment simply means that you are able to be in a warm and loving relationships without being triggered or overly worried. You can effectively communicate your needs, your boundaries strong however flexible and available when your partner expresses their needs.

ANXIOUS

Most people with this type of attachment style have a strong fear to being abandoned or they feel sensitive to their partner’s mood and actions. They may take their partner’s behaviours personally and tend act out if they feel threatened. They often want a close, stable and consistent relationship, but fear that their partner doesn’t want to get close to them.

They also struggle to clearly communicate their needs and desires.

AVOIDANT

Those with an avoidant attachment tend to struggle with vulnerability and intimacy. Since they had to rely on themselves for soothing and comfort, they like to maintain their sense of independence and self-sufficiency.

They tend not to be emotionally open and others may complain that they are emotionally distant.

FEARFUL-AVOIDANT

So fearful-avoidant’s are an interesting mix between anxious types and avoidant types. Its the least talked about attachment style for some reason.

Fearful-avoidant’s tend to struggle with low self-esteem or self-image. They want emotional intimacy but feel mistrustful of others and can pull away when they feel overwhelmed in relationships.

Discovering your attachment style

There are many tests via google that can tell you your attachment style and bare in mind that your attachment style can change over time.